Relational Trauma

Trauma seems to be a buzzword in today’s society, mostly because it is extremely common and most of us have experienced the impacts of trauma in someway or another. I work with individuals who have experienced multiple traumatic experiences, often layering together, also known as complex trauma. I find relational elements are at the core of a majority of painful experiences, and no, they do not need to have specifically occured in childhood; relational trauma can occur at any time along the lifespan.

Relational trauma refers to the emotional wounds and disruptions in trust that occur within significant relationships that have caused pain. These include relationships with family members, romantic partners, friends, colleagues, caregivers, and even teachers. Relational trauma can result from experiences in childhood, situations of betrayal, neglect, abuse, or other adverse events, impacting one's ability to form healthy connections and influencing future interpersonal interactions (not to mention being significantly linked to mental health, I list outcomes and some symptoms below). Healing from relational trauma is possible and involves processing these experiences while rebuilding a sense of safety, trust, and secure attachments in relationships and with self.

Some main struggles that result from relational trauma include:

  • Difficulty building trust with yourself and others 

  • Unsure how or what boundaries are needed in relationships 

  • Difficulty expressing and managing emotions 

  • Attachment difficulties (attaching to others quickly or not all, hello ghosting!)

  • Intimacy concerns 

  • Unhealthy patterns to cope (e.g., use of alcohol or substance use, over medicating, sleeping too much

Trust me when I say, I get it.

I hear you & I feel you….

Some core symptoms:

  • Sadness and chronic loneliness 

  • Isolation and social withdrawal

  • Low self-esteem and self-worth 

  • Emotional distress 

  • Disconnection from others, self, and reality (known as dissociation)

  • A desire to escape

  • Difficulty getting intimate

  • Perceiving threat in relationships 

  • Disinterest in activities and hobbies 

  • Chronic pain 

  • Hyper Independence or codependency

If we work together, we will utilize therapy elements to heal from these experiences, I list how I help below. I am here to support you and empathize with your struggle, guiding you to (re)building yourself from relational trauma. Your therapy outcome is important to me, you are not alone healing and rebounding from relational trauma - I will be with you every step of the way.

There are many benefits from participating in psychotherapy, a few healing results include:

  • Freedom from shame and guilt 

  • Sense of safety 

  • Understanding patterns & increased knowledge

  • Ability to form healthy relationships 

  • Empathy and compassion 

  • Post-traumatic growth 

  • Positive self-identity 

  • Improved sleep and physical health 

  • Reduced chronic pain

  • Breaking cycles of abuse 

  • Building a supportive network

  • Autonomy

  • Positive outlook 

  • Freedom from intrusive thoughts and difficult memories 

  • Emotional stability 

  • Increased self-confidence 

  • Emotional resilience 

  • Empowerment 

  • Connection and a sense of wholeness 

  • Resolving of shame and guilt 

  • Acceptance and inner peace 

  • Emotional openness 

  • Bravery and pride 

  • Renewed hope 

  • Mindfulness & trauma awareness

  • Capacity for joy 

  • Interest in hobbies and daily living 

  • Forgiveness to self and freedom from anger or resentment

  • & many more!!

How I Help

Restorative Relational Experiencing

  • At the core of healing the scars from relationships lies the foundation of building authentic, healthy, and deeply caring connections.

    That's why I place a significant emphasis on fostering this unique type of relationship with my clients. By using appropriate self-disclosure and sharing relatable stories, insights, and myths, I aim to create an environment where you feel understood and supported, knowing you are not alone in your experiences.

    As your therapist, I'm not distant and detached; I'm right beside you, engaging in laughter, curiosity, tears, and humanity, for I am only human too.

Trauma Processing

  • Trauma processing is a therapeutic experience aimed at comprehending, confronting, and integrating traumatic experiences, which is not always by talking about the experience itself. There are many types of therapy styles that can help with processing painful experiences, a few I use include:  

    EFIT (Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy 

    ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) 

    IFS (Internal Family Systems) 

    DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy) 

    Somatic Therapy 

    Narrative Therapy

    Utilizing a safe and supportive approach, I encourage you to explore the emotional impact of your trauma, understanding its effects on your life. Without leaving you to feel as if your wound have reopened or gotten deeper.

    I will guide you towards accepting and moving through distressing memories, beliefs, and sensations associated with your experiences. The process involves validating emotions, challenging negative beliefs, and gradually desensitizing triggers.

    As healing progresses, you’ll gain resilience and develop healthier coping mechanisms, empowering you to move forward with renewed strength, self-awareness, and a restored sense of well-being. So you can feel confident and comfortable letting your mask down.

Psychoeducation & Skill Building

  • Research-backed psychoeducation and skill building are integral components of therapy, I use them aiming to empower you with knowledge and practical tools for managing their mental health and emotional well-being.

    Through psychoeducation, you will gain a deeper understanding of what trauma is, how these experiences impact your biology, how they shape your thoughts, emotions, and behavioral patterns, while demystifying psychological challenges and promoting self-awareness. Skill building involves learning and practicing coping strategies, communication techniques, and problem-solving skills to navigate life's complexities more effectively.

    Together, these approaches foster personal growth, resilience, and the ability to implement positive changes in daily life. By equipping yourself with this knowledge and specific skills, you’ll become an active participant in your healing journey. With hopes to promote lasting transformation and improved quality of life, so you can feel (re)connected to yourself and the world around you.

“Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey.

They don’t need to. It’s not for them.”

Joubert Botha